This past weekend I attended a private crabfest event being held by a friend of a friend. I showed up wearing patterned shorts and a soccer coach t-shirt, carrying a six-pack of beer for my alcohol contribution and the requested $5 in order to indulge in crab-feasting. After arriving I mingled with the other guests, joining in hearty conversations -- contributing my knowledge in intellectual discussions and wit in more relaxed banter.
Towards the end of the party, my friend asked another attendee if their hat was a Harvard hat. She replied "yes." I said to her, "oh, I went to one of your rival schools." She looked at me and responded "oh really, which one?" I could already sense some skepticism in her voice. I told her I went to Princeton. She looked at me for a couple seconds and asked, "really?" I paused for a second, my suspicions of her non-belief being confirmed, and said, "yeah, really." She then said, "I don't believe you." At this point, I understand that she doesn’t believe me, but can’t believe that she doesn’t believe me. Bewildered I ask, "wait seriously, you don't believe me?" She says no, because you're smiling. Becoming somewhat defensive, I start mentioning things about Princeton that would convince anyone who truly knows about the school that I went there — the eating clubs, Hoagie Haven, Reunions (specifically that it was that weekend), and a few other things. She continues to shake her head in denial until my Asian friend "vouches" for me, despite the fact that he did not go to Princeton.
When I reflected on the encounter, I became angrier. Looking back at that day I would say that I looked like someone who might've attended such a school: I wore a preppy outfit, spoke intelligently, didn't come across as uncultured, and generally exhibited the characteristics that someone might associate with a Princeton alum. After writing a book of excuses attempting to explain her reaction, the only plausible rationale that I could come up with that truly explained why she did not believe that I was a Princeton alumn, was that she saw a black man and presumed I was making it up.
So here is a woman who is Harvard educated, who I would expect to have a grasp on some of the finer details of race in America, who would be considered successful and intellectual by most people's standards, WHO FELL VICTIM TO PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF ME SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF MY SKIN. I couldn’t help but wonder, if she is susceptible to this kind of subconscious racism, how much easier is it for people who have little to no exposure to black people, who consume only conservative-leaning news sources, who have never had a conversation about race with their one black friend, to draw erroneous conclusions based on someone's skin color? More importantly, if she is susceptible to this, so are our police officers, politicians, and those whose decisions directly impact black people's lives.
This is the kind of racism that seems so insignificant but plays such a large role in the lives of people of color. So when black people say that certain something that was said racist, or that police are racist, or employers are racist, we aren't saying that they are burning crosses or calling us the n-word. We are saying that in a large number of encounters, especially intense ones, it is likely that police officers, politicians, employers, and generally people in power make judgments about who we are based on our skin color, oftentimes without even knowing it. This is why we say that when black lives matter, all lives will matter.
