I felt my Blackness when I saw images of George Floyd being kneeled on by a cop for over 8 minutes until he exhaled his last precious breath.
I felt my Blackness when I saw images of Breonna Taylor, who woke up to a barrage of bullets from people who had no business being in her house.
I felt my Blackness when I saw images of Jacob Blake getting shot 7 times in the back at point blank range because a police officer feared for his life.
I felt my Blackness when outraged people burned Kaepernick jerseys to protest him when he took a knee to take a stand racism in America, and again when athletes around the world got back on board 4 years later.
I felt my Blackness when police and the national guard were called in and used tear gas, helicopters, rubber bullets, vehicles, batons, and riot shields to move and disperse peaceful people protesting racial injustice.
I felt my Blackness when I saw images of men and women in military uniform guarding the Lincoln Monument to “protect” it from peaceful marchers, begging this country to recognize that Black Lives Matter as we protested the monuments and flags that had been erected to remind us that our lives do not.
I felt my Blackness as I read about the dozens of BLM protesters who huddled in a man’s house because they were afraid of being beaten and hauled off to prison by police who had managed to trap them on a DC street.
Yesterday, I felt my Blackness yet again, but not in the same manner as those many times before. Yesterday I felt my Blackness not as a target, but in the context of the freedom that being White affords you. Because in America a White person has the ability to break the law and be violent, with little to no threat of repercussion. Yesterday I witnessed that police were willing to assist White people walk through barriers so that White people could vandalize the Capitol, loot the Capitol, terrorize the country, and walk out with their souvenirs, taking selfies with smiles on their faces. I watched as those same White people went home satisfied with their brazen disregard of the law all in the name of a lie, even as someone lay dead on the very floor of the building they had just invaded.
Today I feel my Blackness as I notice that the people who are always quick to defend the “honor of the flag” over the “honor of Black Americans” remain silent in the wake of the destruction that their fellow Americans unleashed on this country. Today I feel my Blackness as I reflect on how much bloodier this would likely have been if it was BLM engaging in the same behavior. Today I feel my Blackness as I think about the people who used and continue to use our personal histories, a few bad actors during otherwise peaceful protests, “heritage,” and “both sides-isms” to justify the violence that is perpetrated against our Black bodies by those who are entrusted to protect and serve us. Today I feel my Blackness because the silence of those who muffled our voices as we called out for help cannot be ignored. Today I feel my Blackness because it was never about doing things “the right way”….it was always about being the wrong color.
It is time for America to face the reality that there are two Americas, one for White people, and one for those who cannot pass as White. It is past time to mend that.
